Lotus like me

 Assalam alaykum. My lovelies, it has been an amazing year of experiences, gratitude, turmoils and most importantly survival. I'm thankful that I have amazing friends and family and even frenemies. I have a gazillion *I'm not sure it's a word but okay whatever😂* things to be thankful for, people to be thankful to. I've had my rough patches and so have you all, the important thing here is that we pulled through. We survived. It's not just because of ourselves. Nope. Definitely not. We have people to be thankful to and thankful for. I'll start by thanking Almighty Allah fro granting me life throughout this year. In times where I believed I was going insane, you Ya Allah helped me pull through by showing, actually giving me love and support directly and indirectly. Thank you for everything. My wonderful family. My mother, father, sisters and other relatives. Thank you for bearing with me when I was acting my worst even though you had your own problems. Th...

     Assalam alaykum and hello my lovelies. New series that I only update when releasing a series of my feelings like now. I'm crying as I'm typing this but please don't worry. I'll be fine. This year has been filled with lots of things.  I've acted so desperately for what I believed was love. It could be infatuation. But my question is " Do you feel infatuated even when the person you supposedly like and you are distant?"  I promise you as I keep listening to my playlists of sad songs and read my past texts, I cry. I see that desperate girl and I didn't know that I could have turned in to that desperate chick. The one who told her crush about the crush multiple times. The one that kept reminding him every now and then. The one that hopelessly tried to get over the crush but kept failing and falling.  The one who let her hopes rise. The one who is sitting on her bed right now, hugging her knees and crying her heart out wondering why life hurts....

Assalam alaykum and hello everyone. It's Christmas and even though I don't celebrate it, I'm writing this post to wish everyone a merry Christmas.  I've been having heavy writer's block and its almost impossible for me to find another topic to write about in the relationship series. Notice I said almost, I'm pushing my brains to the extreme.  Any ideas you have, feel free to leave them in the commments section down below. Saranghamnida everyone❤. Borahae💜💜💜.   Once again merry Christmas everyone. I love you all❤❤❤💜💜💜💜💜💜💜. Thanks so much and finally my lovelies, Allah hafeez.

                 Assalaam alaikum my lovelies. This post in one of the hardest I can attempt to write. SELF LOVE . To love one's self.  That doesn't necessarily mean going to spas, getting pedicures and etcetera. In this case, I mean to love one's self despite all the irregularities and imperfections we have.  Let me even ask Myself this question. DO I LOVE MYSELF?  I barely do. Honestly the struggle is real. When I look in a full length mirror, I see my thighs that are too fat, my stomach that isn't flat enough, my arms too muscular, my face too acne prone, and the list goes on.  I don't think about the people that wish to be in my place. I have similar to suicidal thoughts sometimes. It's not even because of my body. It's because of people's perceptions of me. Maybe I'm too annoying, I'm too intimidating *trust me, you're not the only one shocked by this*, I'm not worth it and etc. It's strange how we like belie...